How long after childbirth should I wait before having sexual intercourse?
A majority of health practitioners discourage women from resuming sex within the first six weeks after childbirth as the genital organs require at least that much time to heal. Moreover, most new moms find that sex after pregnancy is the last thing in their minds at this stage.
For most women, even with highly memorable love lives before childbirth, find a lack of interest in love making.
What are the reasons?
Reasons are numerous. Hormonal readjustment in the postpartum period and later on if you are breast feeding can lower your sexual desire. You and your spouse's libidos drop as there are sleepless nights and exhausting days due the endless needs of a demanding baby.
You may have fear of pain or damaging your internal organs. Others may think they might get pregnant again too soon having sex after pregnancy. All this acts as a hindrance in your love making interests. Discomfort due to decreased vaginal lubrication, which happens because of hormonal changes during the postpartum period and during lactation also decreases the desire. This problem can last for as long as six months even if you are not breastfeeding. Lack of privacy because of a baby in the room can make you uneasy during lovemaking thus furthering the lack of interest. Mothering in itself is so fulfilling, taking all the loving and nurturing you have to give is a lot. Sometimes you may find it difficult to love anyone else, even your husband.
Breastfeeding satisfies your sexual needs, though you may not realize it. Sexual foreplay may stimulate the leaking of breast milk. It may make you or your husband uncomfortable, both physically as well as psychologically.
What can I do to ease back into sex after pregnancy? Hormonal changes during the postpartum period and during lactation can make the vagina uncomfortably dry. Using a lubricating product such as K-Y jelly or vaginal suppositories until normal vaginal secretions are back can help solve the problem to some extent. If external lubricating agents do not help then ask your gynecologist to prescribe a topical estrogen cream to lessen pain and discomfort.
Indulging in a glass of wine with your husband before making love, may help both you and your husband relax physically and emotionally. It will also numb some of your pain. If you don't drink, try some relaxation or meditation techniques. Kegel exercises help tone the pelvic floor muscles (muscles that are associated with vaginal sensation and response during intercourse). Try doing some of these.
Some sexual positions such as side-to-side or woman-on-top positions allow control of penetration depth, putting a lesser pressure on a sore perineum (between the anus and vulva). You can experiment with various sexual positions and find out which works best for you. Sex after pregnancy doesn't have to be a show stopper. Express love in other ways, such as cuddling and caressing while watching TV, and hand holding while strolling in the park. This is an important first step for any couple getting acquainted, physical re-acquaintance could take some time. Talk it out. A good sexual relationship is built on trust, understanding and effective communication. Tell your husband/boyfriend about your fears, about problems such as dry vagina, about your exhaustion and fatigue.
Finally don't worry too much about it. Face the facts of your post pregnancy life and relax. The romance will return in your life.
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